Regret

Last night, just after the new year started, while dancing to myself, enjoying the music, a woman crossed my path, hugging a friend of hers on her way out, or so it seemed at the time. She was facing away from me, hugging her friend, so I couldn't really see her, only her hair was visible to me, yet for some reason I felt something, something inside of me said: "Pay attention!!"

After they finished their hug, she went past me, and I got to see another glimpse of her, yet could not really understand yet what was it that got my attention. Then she turned around and I was floored.

As I came into the bar, about an hour or so before, I immediately took a sit at the bar and ordered myself a beer from the tap (Half a liter of course) so I can welcome the new year with a nice cold glass of beer in my hand.
As I was waiting, before I even got to talk to the bartender, I looked to my left, and there, behind all the people who stood and danced along the way, I got a glimpse of a beautiful woman in a white dress and she just got my attention, I don't know if it's the dress, I love a woman in a dress, or her long dark hair, I love that as well, or simply her beauty, or maybe all together, yet looking at her from a far, I was captivated for a few seconds, that is until my view was blocked by all the dancers which were going at it full on just before the end of last year.

The evening went on, I was on my own, celebrating my connection to myself, the steps I took in the past year and especially in the past month, yet most of all, I made a huge step yesterday evening, I published a video where I present myself as the writer of the sticker: "It's O.K. You can breathe. The change happens by itself." on a website where I ask people to help me fund more of them and to help me spread my message. For me it is a huge step because I was always afraid of people, which was one of the reasons I never wrote my name on the sticker, and here I am saying: "It's me".

So I was enjoying myself, the beer, the music and the dancing, when suddenly, a beautiful woman in a white dress crossed my path. As I turned around to look at her go and realized it was the same woman from before, I immediately understood I just have to go and talk to her, even if just to know her name. You see, I had for years lived by signs, and learned with the years that it is best to go with them rather than to hold back, there is something so special about jumping into the river of life and to let them take me with the flow, without knowing where it may lead, that is actually the greatest fun when you get used to it. All this went within a flash through my head, remembering the regret I always felt when I didn't go and talk to a beautiful woman who attracted my attention, and I found myself going, without thinking, and meeting up close, a woman who captivated my attention, thoughts and my whole being, all the way to now, when I am writing these words.

I don't know what will happen next, that's life's job, I only know one thing, and that is that last night I went to sleep, and this morning I woke up, without the slightest amount of the feeling called: Regret.