Pain

Ever since I can remember myself, I was brought up and raised to fight pain with whatever it may be needed to reduce it if not to make it go away. After all, who wants to be in pain? It's not very comfortable, is it? So as a kid and a young teenager I swallowed many pills, it came to a point a kid I was playing with at his house said to me: "You're taking pills like peanuts!" That woke me up.

It wasn't easy letting go of those pills, it's not that I was suffering from some terrible disease, I just didn't like my headaches, or any other of those physical aches which come once in a while. I did notice one thing after a while, and that is that whether I took a pill to make that pain go away or not, two things consistently happened. The first thing I noticed was that the pain eventually went away by itself and the other that the pain came back in some point, yet not necessarily in that same place.
The other thing I noticed after a while was that my ability to stand the pain became greater and greater and after a while my need for doctors came to almost a none. Pain just seemed to keep its distance from me, understanding probably that it doesn't impress me any longer, so why bother showing up. It was like it understood I didn't need it any longer so it just didn't show up, or at least reduced dramatically its visits to my life. I also noticed the pain changed its form, from the physical pain, to emotional pain, to mental pain, it was like it changed its battle field.

The thing is that after a while that I kept accepting it as it is and not try to push it away, it came, yet only as a guide and not as a nuisance. It was my perspective which took its troubling issues a lot of people see it by to a learning experience every time it dropped by for a visit.

When I woke up this morning I immediately noticed a very strong pain in my right upper side of my back, underneath my right shoulder blade, which took away the easiness I was moving by. It didn't go away, actually I am having it right now while writing these words, so all day I was paying a lot of attention to it and to what it may symbols. I still don't have the perfect answer for its visit, I haven't learned yet what it came to show me, I've learned throughout the years that when I do, it simply fades away, for it has no more to show me and teach. So right now I keep paying attention and being aware, I know I am going through a very major change in my life and that pain is a major participant in the process of change, yet that is a different story for a different time.

Alright, I guess this is enough for one time, hope you are all well and if not, I really recommend paying attention to it :-)