Challenges 2

It amazes me each and every time, how challenging it is to create a change. I mean, at the end of it, it might look easy, you know, when we finally make the step and wonder what took us so long, yet I found the change starts way earlier, when we first thought of it. There is a saying: "Think on the end before you begin", I found it very much true, for the simple reason that before we thought of the change, why would we ever start moving toward it?

Ever since I was 12 years old, when I first started becoming aware of the process of change by creating conscious changes, I paid a lot of attention to it, for the simple reason I was scared of it, and throughout the years I looked into the process of change trying to recognize again and again what actually starts the whole process, in other words, I looked to find what do I need to do in order to create the desired change. Eventually, after 16 years of research, I found it, yet it took me 6 more years to actually acknowledge it and to start using it on daily basis. I guess I am kind of a perfectionist, always was, so it took me some time to admit I actually found something that works.

So why is it still a challenge? The challenge for me today is not to create the change, the challenge for me these days is to be patient while it's in the process. Today, after I have done my research, I know, without a single doubt, that if I truly want something, it is purely a matter of time until I reach it. The challenge is going through it again and again, knowing of all the emotions I will have to go through, which means a lot of energy I will have to let go of and to integrate the new one - some process of its own, knowing it will be hard for me to explain it to whoever is around me who doesn't understand how it works for me (I say here "for me", yet I truly believe, from years of observation, that people do go through a similar process, I believe I narrow it down to the very basic. Did I really? Only time will tell, I'm sure someone will come along later on in the future and develop it even more) yet the biggest challenge for me is being patient. I always had an issue with that, for I like to learn and to put things into test, I love moving forward and I have real issues with people who hold me back. When I was going to the field trips from school, I was almost always next to the guide who was leading the group, and very often was pulled back by my t-shirt neckline by those very guides, when they tried to slow me down. For me, to slow down, is the challenge.

So thank God there are still challenges, for I would be bored if there would not be any, what I am looking into now, is how to truly enjoy them when they are there, not to change them by changing my perspective, but to truly enjoy them as they are.

All the best to you all,

may your path be of love,

Uriel