Challenges

Hey,

Well, had another lecture today and it went great, lots of participation, great practice for me and except that, the sun was shining, so I should be feeling fine, right? I just wonder, as always, why do I not? I guess I can answer that, mentally, yet it always dazzles me when it comes... I guess I should explain a bit, ah? At least to myself...

It started off as a great day, the sunrise was beautiful, the walk in the fresh air, the silence which me and my dad walked today in, it felt good, and yes, I was excited of course, knowing that in few hours I would be standing in front of a group I met only one from and that was for only two minutes yesterday. So I was excited standing in front of the unknown, I knew what I was about to talk about, being after the first lecture at the beginning of this week, yet meeting a group of people I absolutely don't know was kind of a challenge for me, even though I did it before in Berlin, something in meeting Israelis challenges me, I guess it got something to do with growing up here, and not in the best of atmospheres. Yet I felt much better than I would have thought I would, and that was a good sign for me, a good sign that something is changing.

Then the day went on, I had lunch with my parents, in a very good vibe I might just add (this is so not obvious!!) and then after relaxing for a bit, went to take a midday nap, which I needed badly.
It was when I woke up that immediately I was in a bad mood, I guess it has something to do with the loud music my brother decided to play (he moved near by couple of weeks ago) in the middle of the afternoon, I was furious and it came in a second. Ever since then I just couldn't change it, is it because of that? Or is it just another part of the changing process I am going through? I noticed along the years that when I'm going through a changing process, I tend to go through a large variety of emotions, from Happiness and Fear all the way to Joy, Hatred, Love and Bliss. They just come and go, changing themselves as the time goes by. At the end of it the circle just stops for a while, and then a change in my reality occurs and something I wanted and decided to achieve suddenly just shows up in my life. I guess then I shouldn't be complaining, yet when I think about it now, it is just letting some steam off my chest. Life is a challenge sometimes, and I thank God for that, for it would be so boring if there won't be any challenge along the way. I already feel better, so thank you for being here and reading :-)

Changing is quite the challenge as it is, and if it wouldn't also poses tremendous amount of joy and presents, I guess I would had still hate it as I did when I was young.

Well, my chest if much better now, so I will be going to enjoy my evening. Thank you again for being here, it means a lot to me. You are most welcome to write and respond, would love to hear what's on your mind as well.

All the best,
Love
Uriel